Pieces of Eight

Hi slaves all safe and well I hope. I am into pirates at the moment so bring along your cannon and balls and we will make them explode!! A bit of humour in this world of uncertainty, hope you find it funny if not you are weird and deserve to be punished pirate style.

Pirate's Yacht Club knows there's nothing sexier than a Pirate (well...except for his ship, maybe). I Feel proud to be an adventurous, nauti lady who loves a pirate's mast!!

Dirty Calvin Pirate-A sex act carried out by persons with a naval fetish, whereby the participants stands naked in a room watching the BBC programme Sailor, wearing a pirate hat and eye patch, and using an Action Man naval figure to stimulate his/her rectum whilst loudly saying pirate phrases such as “Yaaah, for shame”, “Me blowhole be looser than a whales bottom” and “Heave ho, prepare to take me broadside” “I came home and he was doing the Dirty Calvin Pirate again. The dog won’t come back in from the garden and he keeps hiding my jewellery in boxes under the lawn....”

Pirates the most badass category of humans to ever walk the face of the earth. Pirates don't give a fat shit about anything, don't listen to any type of authority, get shit faced 24/7 off rum, and spend their lives kicking ass and sailing around on a giant ass ship. Instead of just executing traitors like a sensible human, pirates used to tie them to their mobile ass kicking platform (ship) and throw them overboard to drag them around the ocean where they would slap against the side of the ship and get fucked up by all the barnacles on the side. Is that not the most savage thing you've ever heard?

Numerous studies by credible scientific journals have also came to a net conclusion in the past years that if you don't think pirates are the coolest you're probably a huge pussy. Pirates sound fucking cool. It sucks they only existed in the 18th century."

My friend. Anybody can become a pirate if they just believe. That and if they exhibit fine pirate traits such as not giving a dogs ass about anything, taking whatever they want whenever they want, and exclaiming badass phrases like "AARRR" when about to do something reckless. Pirates are a sea fearing folk, oft to be seen pilaging, raping, murdering, or commiting other acts of piracy. They usually own a monkey, parrot, or sexy wench.

Mistress K Worry when I am wearing an eye patch and have a parrot!!!! Nothing is impossible.

6ft Dominant Mistress - Huddersfield Mistress

I am Mistress Kristina a professional Dominatrix based in Huddersfield, I am passionate powerful, driven and demanding all of the time. I offer sessions in a converted domestic environment where your safety is my priority and your boundaries are respected So Welcome to my world where you will be under the control of a strict and manipulative Mistress where your fantasies can become reality.

Mistress Kristina – Independent Mistress in Huddersfield

Huddersfield Mistress K