BDSM has a long-standing perception issue in the eyes of mainstream society. Recent events strained it even more. This week's Sex Story looks at a few misunderstandings about BDSM and rough sex. Have you followed the trial of the convicted murderer of Grace Milane?
I don't usually report on sex crime but this case is of great significance to people who are into rough sex and BDSM all around the world. The main facts are indisputable.
Grace died during sex. The defendant argued that she succumbed during consensual choking. The prosecution successfully argued that he, in fact, strangled her to death and disposed of her body. Unfortunately the tragedy of this murder goes beyond the immeasurable loss of a life. Instead of the tone of the trial focusing on the acts of a murderer it shifted to the perceived acts of the victim.
Was Grace Milane interested in rough sex? Seems she was...but why does that matter? She may have sought out choking for pleasure but she did not seek out choking to death. Her victimhood has been overshadowed by her interests, a situation women have become all-too-familiar with when they are victims of sex crimes.
A big reason why Grace's unrelated, personal interests were held up to such scrutiny was because papers such as the New York Post decided to shine a light on them. This was entirely uncalled for and cruel. Grace's Interest in BDSM does not explain why her killer decided to compress her neck for five to ten minutes. As so many of us have done, she looked to engage in a pleasurable experience. Unfortunately, she met a man who had a different experience in mind. That is why she died...not because of her interests.
**Mistress K. **