Bizarre sexual fetishes are a staple of the human psyche most everyone has them, and with the arrival of Internet porn, all the walls came crumbling down. Suddenly, everyone everywhere could share their sick, nasty fantasies with the entire world, safe under a veil of anonymity. But the Internet by no means invented these things. As it turns out, they've been around way longer than that stain in your Honda.
Zoophilia, also known as bestiality, is the practice of having sex with an animal. While it isn't illegal in most areas of the world, it also isn't officially condoned. Most zoophiles experience the first stirrings of their fetish between the ages of 11 and 14, which suddenly explains the success of both Alvin and the Chipmunks movies. Zoophiles don't draw much of a difference between the affections of a human and an animal and, really, we can't see much of a difference between a pet and a significant other they both cheer you up when you're down and they both can be trained to lick your genitals. As it turns out, the act of bonifering an animal may be older than recorded history,
Furthermore, the ancient Romans flirtations with the animal kingdom are near legendary. Donkeys, baboons, geese, dogs you'd be hard pressed to find a species that the Romans didn't defile at some point. This reaches epic levels of insanity when you learn that Roman women would often masturbate with live fucking snakes, which were trained to suckle the nipples.
You're probably the type of person who already knows that sadomasochism was named after the Marquis de Sade. But he didn't invent it. Alternatively known as bondage, S & M and get the fuck out of my apartment, sadomasochism involves two consenting partners engaging in a style of sexual role play characterised by domination and submission. One partner, the dominant, inflicts pain, while the other partner, the submissive, receives it. S & M covers a wide range of activities, from simple verbal abuse and light spanking to full-blown flogging and humiliation. So if de Sade wasn't the father of sadomasochism, who was?
Experts say that on the list of most frequent causes of embarrassing deaths, While the term sex accident may sound awesome like a high speed collision with a tractor trailer made of nudity the reality of it is hotel staff discovering your body strangled to death and clutching your genitals in a kung fu grip
Autoerotic asphyxiation is just a big city scientist term for masturbating while strangling yourself. And it's more common than you'd think roughly 500 to 1000 young men accidentally die each year during autoerotic asphyxiation, If you were thinking the practice was accidentally discovered in some 1980s S & M club, you're wrong. Erotic asphyxiation goes back to the 1600s, when it was used as a treatment for erectile dysfunction, presumably because the patient in question would rather be dead than go on living.
If you're wondering how in the hell they connected strangling with boners, the answer is every bit as terrifying as you're probably guessing. The practice started when observers at public hangings noticed that male victims often sported an erection after death, sometimes even ejaculating at the moment of. Wikipedia even has an article on death erections,
Put simply, the foot fetish is a sexual attraction to feet, be they wrapped up in stockings or bare in all their sweat-pruned glory.
Foot fetishism has many forms, and can range from simple kissing and licking to full on penis massages. Many celebrities are self confessed foot fetishists, And while there are many, many websites and lots of YouTube videos supplying wank material for foot lovers, you probably could make a good living selling the same material a thousand years ago.
The first mention of foot fetishism we can find dates back to 1220 AD. Experts think the fetish got its start due to fear of STDs history records show a lot more foot lovers during syphilis epidemics, like those of the 16th and 19th centuries. Keep in mind that back then, pretty much everything in the world gave you some version of the plague, let alone the festering bog of some peasant's vagina. Clearly, blistered gangrenous feet were the refined solution, because you can't get AIDS from a foot. Or can you? We really have no idea.
As it turns out, the list of historical foot fetishists reads like the A-Team of literature. Know who else is on the list? Fucking Casanova, a man whose name has literally become a phrase meaning guy who spends more time inside vaginas than outside of them.
There's no polite way to put this __Necrophilia__is the fucking of dead bodies. There are a number of reasons why someone would be attracted to corpses, chief among them being the desire for a lifeless and unresisting partner. But apparently the whole craze started the same way so many things start with mummies.
Herodotus the Greek historian who lived in the fifth century BC wrote in his Histories that, in order to stop people from having sex with corpses before mummification, the ancient Egyptians left them to decay for three or four days before handing them off to the embalmers. That's right: Necrophilia was such a problem for these guys that they had to take active preventative measures against it.
But that's not all: One legend says that after killing his wife in jealousy, King Herod the Great continued to have sex with her body for, wait for it, seven years.
So the next time you see a leather sex club and think to yourself that you're watching the downfall of modern society, keep this in mind: They were doing full on S & M orgies five centuries before the New Testament.
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